Deciding whether to take on the role of caregiver for your elderly parents can be overwhelming.
You want to make sure they are comfortable and happy, but it’s a big responsibility to take on. Hiring a caregiver can take much of that responsibility off your shoulders, but it’s certainly the more expensive option.
To help you understand what it takes to be a caregiver and prepare for this new era of your life, we’ve put together a list of important factors to consider below.
Easy Ways to Stay in Contact
Senior citizens often have trouble using more modern technology, especially if they have problems with eyesight, coordination, or dementia.
If you’re not going to be home 24/7, make sure your parents are provided with a way to stay in contact or call for help should an emergency arise. We recommend a simple flip phone, landline, or Life Alert necklace.
If you work far from your home, you should always have another emergency contact they can get in touch with in case you won’t be able to make it to them quickly or won’t always be reachable.
Safety and Supervision
If your parents need help walking or need to be supervised for other reasons, you’ll want to make sure you have someone watching them at all times or you are able to check in on them multiple times throughout the day.
Some people consider doing all the caregiving themselves because they don’t have other family members available to help or can’t afford full-time care. Sometimes it’s best to hire an in-home caregiver even just for part-time work, just to be there when you’re not. It’s better to be safe than sorry, and there is often financial aid available to help cover the cost (more on that later).
Caregiving Delegation and Coordination
You may have other family members willing to take shifts or roles for caregiving. In that case, make sure your schedules and availability are in sync so that your parents are not left unattended if they need full-time care.
You can have each person take all responsibilities during their caregiving shift, or delegate certain jobs to those who are equipped to handle them. For example, one person might be able to make dinner for your parents twice a week, another may be able to come and clean their living space once a week, etc.
Set ground rules for communication to make sure everyone understands what their responsibilities are. If your parents take any medications that need to be administered to them, ensure that everyone involved knows the proper dosage.
It’s also recommended to have a chart or some other easy way to document whether those medications have already been taken that day.
Don’t be afraid to ask your siblings and other family members for help. The responsibility should be shared among anyone who is willing and able to assist. You’re going to need breaks to look after your own wellbeing.
Finances and Medicare
As your parents age, they may eventually need help managing their finances. If they haven’t already been set up with senior benefits programs like Medicare and Social Security insurance, it’s time to look into what financial aid they qualify for so that they’ll be covered.
Other financial factors you’ll want to consider in your planning for their future include looking into:
- Life insurance policies
- Health insurance policies and coverage for long-term care, hospice, disability, home visits, etc.
- Pension and retirement plans
- Veteran benefits
- Outstanding debt
- Tax deductions
Legal Responsibilities
In line with the previous section, there are many legal responsibilities that fall on you when you become a caregiver for a parent. You’ll have to discuss being given power of attorney and having access to your parents’ important accounts.
If your parents have a diagnosis that makes them unable to make their own legal decisions, you may need to file for a conservatorship to manage their bills, assets, and healthcare plans.
It’s also wise to make sure you know where all your parents’ important documents are kept so you can access them when needed, including birth certificates, insurance information, deeds, bill information, a will and testament, etc.
If you have no idea where to start and your parents can’t direct you, hire an elder law lawyer to make sure everything is in order.
Healthcare Planning
Planning for your parents’ healthcare includes more than the financial and insurance pieces. Everyone involved in the caregiving process should be made aware of any health conditions your parents are experiencing and know how to handle possible emergencies.
They should also be aware of which hospital to take your parents to and how to get there if there’s no need for an ambulance.
You will need to be prepared to make tough decisions in regard to your parents’ medical care. In the event that your parents are put on life support, they may need you and/or other next of kin to make medical decisions in their stead using power of attorney.
If your parents are clear-minded and able to discuss this topic with you, take some time to ask them about their wishes so you can refer to them if the time comes. It’s important to do so as early as possible, before dementia or other illness becomes a roadblock to communication.
Getting a Will in Order
We know this is a morbid topic many of us would rather put off as long as possible. However, it’s a very important piece of planning for the future. It’s always better to get a will out of the way. Your parents can always change their minds and alter their wills up until their passing.
If your parents pass before writing a last will and testament, you will have the added stress of deciding what to do with the assets and possessions they left behind and may even run into legal trouble.
Family members can end up with different views about what their loved ones would have wanted, resulting in disagreements and falling out. A will is set in stone and will settle these disputes before they begin.
If your parents don’t know how to write a will or where to start, look into hiring an attorney.
Your Own Emotional Support
Caring for elderly parents at home is not only physically and financially demanding but can also drain your emotional wellbeing if you don’t have an outlet.
It can be painful to see your loved ones ageing and their health declining. It can also be frustrating dealing with irrational elderly parents. But focusing your attention on taking care of your loved ones doesn’t mean you have to sacrifice your own emotional health and wellbeing.
We recommend having friends, family members, or a therapist to help support you emotionally along your journey. We also recommend taking on a creative or cathartic hobby, going on walks, and working out to relieve stress.
You may also legally qualify to take a leave of absence for up to 12 weeks from your place of employment for caregiving under the Family and Medical Leave Act. You may also be able to find government assistance for caregivers of elderly parents.
We wish you the best of luck as you prepare to welcome your parents and thank you for having a kind and generous heart.
